Six people I know posted their new house keys on Instagram last Sunday. Six. In one weekend.

Meanwhile, I’m still transferring RM1,400 every month to my landlord. I’m 29, been working for five years, and I don’t own a single square foot of property.

My mum asked me again at dinner last week, “When are you buying a house?” I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how they’re doing it, and I’m genuinely worried I’m falling behind some invisible timeline that everyone else seems to be following.

The “Dah Beli Rumah Belum?” Question

This question sits right up there with “When are you getting married?” as the go-to way relatives measure whether you’ve got your life together. Last Raya, my aunt cornered me and asked why I was still renting. “It’s just throwing money away,” she said, like that was some groundbreaking insight I’d never considered.

Owning property in Malaysia means you’ve made it. You’re a proper adult with your finances sorted. Renting? That’s apparently just a phase you’re supposed to grow out of.

The Instagram posts never mention the RM80,000 my friend’s  parents quietly transferred for the down payment. Or how they’re now spending half their salary on mortgage repayments. I just see the finished product, the shiny new keys, and feel like I’m the only one who hasn’t figured it out.

My First Home Reality Check

Last month I sat down with property listings and my payslip, convinced I’d find a way. Everyone else was doing it, so how hard could it be?

My Situation	The Numbers
My monthly salary	RM3,500
My current savings	RM35,000 (after 5 years of working)
Average property price (Malaysia)	RM486,678
Average property price (KL high-rise)	RM 600,000
Down payment needed (10% of RM600,000)	RM 60,000 – RM 70,000 (with legal fees, stamp duty, etc.)
Monthly loan repayment (RM 540,000 loan, 35 years, ~4.3% p.a.)	RM 2,400 – RM2,500
My reality if I bought now	69% – 71% of my income

* Note: The monthly repayment is based on a 4.5% interest rate and a 35-year loan for a RM540,000 loan after a 10% down payment on a RM600,000 property. Rates may vary based on your bank, loan type, and financial profile.

At RM2,400 monthly, that’s 70% of my income going to housing. Bank Negara Malaysia says to keep total debt repayments under 60% of net income, and they have that guideline for a reason. I’d be stretching myself so thin there’d be no buffer for emergencies, medical bills, anything.

What My Friends Told Me

I decided to ask a few people to see how they were managing their property purchases, and their answers surprised me.

My friend who bought a RM400,000 property pays about RM1,900 every month for the next 35 years.. That’s before maintenance fees, quit rent, utility bills. She told me last month she had to skip a wedding in Penang because after paying her loan, she couldn’t afford the petrol and hotel.

Another friend bought a landed property and spent RM15,000 in one year on stuff he didn’t budget for. Air conditioner died (RM3,500). Roof leak (RM6,000). Termites (RM2,000). He said nobody tells you about these things when they’re posting their house keys on social media.

Several people I know bought in Semenyih or Rawang because that’s what they could afford. Now they spend three hours commuting each day. One colleague admitted he’s house-rich but cash-poor. After his loan payment, he has less than RM500 left monthly.

Then there’s my friend Aina, who bought a small apartment in Cheras three years ago. When I asked her how she was managing, she showed me her spreadsheet. She’d put down 20% instead of 10%, so her monthly payments stayed lower. She’d spent months comparing home loan rates across different banks. She had an emergency fund completely separate from her property savings. Her monthly payments worked out to 28% of her income.

“I waited two extra years to save more,” she said. “Everyone kept telling me I was being too careful. But I watched my brother rush into buying and he’s miserable now.”

Aina’s advantage  was obvious. She didn’t buy because everyone else was buying. She bought because she was actually ready.

Renting Isn’t Throwing Money Away

I’ve been questioning this whole narrative lately. My RM1,400 rent lets me live in Bangsar, where I actually want to be, instead of buying somewhere cheap that I’d hate. It gives me flexibility if better opportunities come up. It doesn’t lock me into 35 years of debt when I don’t even know where I’ll be in five years.Some financially stable friends in their 40s still rent. They chose to build emergency funds and invest in their careers before committing to property debt. These are sensible  choices, even if Malaysian society doesn’t treat them that way.

Where I Am Now

Right now, I’m building my emergency fund and working on increasing my income. My RM35,000 in savings isn’t enough for a down payment in areas I’d actually want to live. Even if I scraped together RM60,000, I’d have zero buffer for anything going wrong.

I don’t even know where I’ll be in five years. I might pursue a master’s degree. Better opportunities in my industry might show up in other cities. Locking myself into property when my career direction isn’t settled feels wrong.

There’s no deadline for buying property. I’m not losing points for buying my first home at 35 instead of 28. The house keys will still be there when I’m ready.

Are you feeling the same pressure about property ownership? Share your story in the comments. 

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